OpenDevil » The Open Devil’s Dictionary

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The Open Devil’s Dictionary

The Devil’s Dictionary

Devil’s Dictionary X™

The Devil’s Dictionary (2.0)

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Five randomly selected definitions

The Devil’s Dictionary
Pray
v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
Quantum Physics
1. the theory that reality is actually the result of an aggregation of observations, or what people as a whole would truly like to be the case; soon after this theory was made public, it was theorized that a large quantity of people actually wanted traditional physicists to quit their jobs, or jump off of very tall buildings in protest.
2. a lot of mumbo-jumbo about how looking at something changes what happens, backed up by oodles of math with one or two strategically placed smudges.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Restitutions
n. The founding or endowing of universities and public libraries by gift or bequest.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Presidency
n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.
The Devil’s Dictionary
X
X in our alphabet being a needless letter has an added invincibility to the attacks of the spelling reformers, and like them, will doubtless last as long as the language. X is the sacred symbol of ten dollars, and in such words as Xmas, Xn, etc., stands for Christ, not, as is popular supposed, because it represents a cross, but because the corresponding letter in the Greek alphabet is the initial of his name — Xristos. If it represented a cross it would stand for St. Andrew, who “testified” upon one of that shape. In the algebra of psychology x stands for Woman’s mind. Words beginning with X are Grecian and will not be defined in this standard English dictionary.