OpenDevil » The Open Devil’s Dictionary

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The Open Devil’s Dictionary

The Devil’s Dictionary

Devil’s Dictionary X™

The Devil’s Dictionary (2.0)

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Five randomly selected definitions

The Devil’s Dictionary
Goose
n. A bird that supplies quills for writing. These, by some occult process of nature, are penetrated and suffused with various degrees of the bird’s intellectual energies and emotional character, so that when inked and drawn mechanically across paper by a person called an “author,” there results a very fair and accurate transcript of the fowl’s thought and feeling. The difference in geese, as discovered by this ingenious method, is considerable: many are found to have only trivial and insignificant powers, but some are seen to be very great geese indeed.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
Limbaugh, Rush
1. a clinical dietitian whose has advanced a fantastically successful theory of weight-loss, being prescription narcotics block appetite every bit as effectively as heroin and opium; more at pill-popper.
2. a philosopher who has proposed an enlightened theory of segregation, namely black drug abusers in prison, white drug abusers on the radio.
see also radio disc jockey.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
cynical
1. indispensable.
2. extremely interesting.
3. original.
4. possessed of insight.
5. wearing a prescription of truth-colored glasses.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
yoke
1. incentive stock options.
2. the welfare of the children.
3. your sponsor’s pager number.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
vagitarian
one who subsists primarily upon Crassostrea virginica or Crassostrea gigas barbatus.