OpenDevil » The Open Devil’s Dictionary

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The Devil’s Dictionary

994 terms

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The Devil’s Dictionary

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Accident
n. An inevitable occurrence due to the action of immutable natural laws.
Accomplice
n. One associated with another in a crime, having guilty knowledge and complicity, as an attorney who defends a criminal, knowing him guilty. This view of the attorney’s position in the matter has not hitherto commanded the assent of attorneys, no one having offered them a fee for assenting.
Accord
n. Harmony.
Accordion
n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
Accountability
n. The mother of caution.
  “My accountability, bear in mind,”
      Said the Grand Vizier: “Yes, yes,”
  Said the Shah: “I do — ’tis the only kind
      Of ability you possess.”
Joram Tate
Accuse
v.t. To affirm another’s guilt or unworth; most commonly as a justification of ourselves for having wronged him.
Acephalous
adj. In the surprising condition of the Crusader who absently pulled at his forelock some hours after a Saracen scimitar had, unconsciously to him, passed through his neck, as related by de Joinville.
Achievement
n. The death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.
Acknowledge
v.t. To confess. Acknowledgement of one another’s faults is the highest duty imposed by our love of truth.

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