The Devil’s Dictionary994 terms |
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M3
- Man
- n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he
thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His
chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own
species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to
infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.
When the world was young and Man was new,
And everything was pleasant,
Distinctions Nature never drew
’Mongst kings and priest and peasant.
We’re not that way at present,
Save here in this Republic, where
We have that old regime,
For all are kings, however bare
Their backs, howe’er extreme
Their hunger. And, indeed, each has a voice
To accept the tyrant of his party’s choice.A citizen who would not vote,
Apperton Duke
And, therefore, was detested,
Was one day with a tarry coat
(With feathers backed and breasted)
By patriots invested.
“It is your duty,” cried the crowd,
”Your ballot true to cast
For the man o’ your choice.” He humbly bowed,
And explained his wicked past:
”That’s what I very gladly would have done,
Dear patriots, but he has never run.” - Manes
- n. The immortal parts of dead Greeks and Romans. They were in a state of dull discomfort until the bodies from which they had exhaled were buried and burned; and they seem not to have been particularly happy afterward.
- Manicheism
- n. The ancient Persian doctrine of an incessant warfare between Good and Evil. When Good gave up the fight the Persians joined the victorious Opposition.
- Manna
- n. A food miraculously given to the Israelites in the wilderness. When it was no longer supplied to them they settled down and tilled the soil, fertilizing it, as a rule, with the bodies of the original occupants.
- Marriage
- n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.
- Martyr
- n. One who moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death.
- Material
- adj. Having an actual existence, as distinguished from an
imaginary one. Important.
Material things I know, or fell, or see;
Jamrach Holobom
All else is immaterial to me. - Mausoleum
- n. The final and funniest folly of the rich.
- Mayonnaise
- n. One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.