The Devil’s Dictionary994 terms |
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P3
- Pedigree
- n. The known part of the route from an arboreal ancestor with a swim bladder to an urban descendant with a cigarette.
- Penitent
- adj. Undergoing or awaiting punishment.
- Perfection
- n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic. The editor of an English magazine having received a letter pointing out the erroneous nature of his views and style, and signed “Perfection,” promptly wrote at the foot of the letter: “I don’t agree with you,” and mailed it to Matthew Arnold.
- Peripatetic
- adj. Walking about. Relating to the philosophy of Aristotle, who, while expounding it, moved from place to place in order to avoid his pupil’s objections. A needless precaution — they knew no more of the matter than he.
- Peroration
- n. The explosion of an oratorical rocket. It dazzles, but to an observer having the wrong kind of nose its most conspicuous peculiarity is the smell of the several kinds of powder used in preparing it.
- Perseverance
- n. A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an
inglorious success.
“Persevere, persevere!” cry the homilists all,
Sukker Uffro
Themselves, day and night, persevering to bawl.
”Remember the fable of tortoise and hare —
The one at the goal while the other is — where?”
Why, back there in Dreamland, renewing his lease
Of life, all his muscles preserving the peace,
The goal and the rival forgotten alike,
And the long fatigue of the needless hike.
His spirit a-squat in the grass and the dew
Of the dogless Land beyond the Stew,
He sleeps, like a saint in a holy place,
A winner of all that is good in a race. - Pessimism
- n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile.
- Philanthropist
- n. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.
- Philistine
- n. One whose mind is the creature of its environment, following the fashion in thought, feeling and sentiment. He is sometimes learned, frequently prosperous, commonly clean and always solemn.