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The Devil’s Dictionary

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The Devil’s Dictionary

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Cemetery
n. An isolated suburban spot where mourners match lies, poets write at a target and stone-cutters spell for a wager. The inscriptions following will serve to illustrate the success attained in these Olympian games:
      His virtues were so conspicuous that his enemies, unable to
  overlook them, denied them, and his friends, to whose loose lives
  they were a rebuke, represented them as vices. They are here
  commemorated by his family, who shared them.
      In the earth we here prepare a
      Place to lay our little Clara.
Thomas M. and Mary Frazer
      P.S. — Gabriel will raise her.