The Devil’s Dictionary X™1,267 terms |
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A
- AA
- 1. very nearly a towing company; that which will take a broken down car eight-twelfths of the way to the nearest mechanic.
- 2. abrv, Anti-Agnostics.
- 3. a support group which offers the replacement of a once pleasurable addiction for an utterly displeasurable network of security.
- aardvark
- an audacious creature chiefly remarkable for its length of tongue, fondness for ants, and precociousness in lexicons.
- able
- sober; e.g., “I might not be able to make it to the project meeting.”
- ably
- adv, describing the way a thing is done when it is done for money.
- absolutly
- in a manner fueled by a liter of vodka; e.g., “She loved him absolutly.”
- Academia
- 1. a disease rendering its victim incapable of completing a sentence without the use of several qualifying terms and ass-kissing references.
- 2. an island just West of High School, due South of Meaningful.
- academic
- 1. one who acts snide while lending out or selling school property.
- 2. that which teaches others how to act snide while lending or selling school property.
- accident
- 1. a legal opportunity.
- 2. God showing his displeasure with your choice of friends.
- 3. the only word in the English language which has come to be used exclusively in a facetious or ironic sense; we propose a new grammatical rule for this word—that it exclusively appear in quotes.
- accidental
- 1. any of the few success stories which have come from bands without the considerable financial backing of parents and foolhardy girlfriends.
- 2. government usage, on purpose.