The Devil’s Dictionary X™1,267 terms |
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A2
- acid
- 1. any substance with a pH less than 7.
- 2. the taste of your self-respect after Viagra, feminine deodorant spray, and myriad other modern staples of modern existence.
- acrimony
- the penultimate stage of marriage—the typical progression being ceremony, matrimony, acrimony, alimony.
- act of God
- a legal term denoting anything outside human action which is horrific or extremely destructive.
more at natural disaster. - actor
- one who makes a profession of doing what comes naturally—pretend at working.
see also scale. - adage
- the truth dilapidated.
compare with axiom. - admiration
- harassment.
- admissions counselor
- 1. on college campuses, an exceptionally materialistic boob with his head stapled to a telephone.
- 2. a vaguely academic leech whose job responsibilities become obscure the minute school is actually in session.
- 3. a whiney yet cut-throat salesman pitching for student aide money on other people’s credit.
- Advent
- an extended pre-Christmas holiday for the exploitations of family gift milkers and religious nut jobs.
- adventitious
- 1. relating to a government conspiracy; a plot.
- 2. anything to do with an ex-lover; pointless.