The Devil’s Dictionary X™1,267 terms |
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B2
- Bartiromo, Maria
- the woman who has the honor of having ushered several hundred billion dollars out the American door by way of attaching her sex appeal to a burning piece of tape.
- bastard
- 1. a wit.
- 2. anyone whose lineage is uncertain; i.e., anyone who has not undergone a paternity test.
- Beast, the
- an unpleasant nickname for a particular lexicographer garnered during one sadly misplanned Christmas party.
- beat
- 1. to correct.
- 2. a debate term meaning to convince.
- 3. in rap music, the drum rhythm, chords and melodies sampled from various performers and composers in order to mock them for bothering to learn anything about music.
- 4. the melody which is set underneath the words of a song intended for air-play; formerly called the “Music.”
- Beatles, the
- once the world’s most popular rock and roll band—although no longer bigger than Jesus the creator still shows an inordinate fondness for Beatles.
- beauty
- 1. in women, an illusion; in men, an indication of homosexuality; in truth, a supreme lie.
- 2. n, any fish that’s been caught; e.g., “Isn’t she a beauty!”
see also trophy bride. - beaver
- 1. a semi-aquatic rodent which must relentlessly exercise its jaw, as in the gnawing of trees, or die.
- 2. an organ which requires equal diligence and usually tastes somewhat worse than a waterlogged wood eating rodent.
- because
- 1. the standard defense case for upper-class criminals; also just because.
- 2. the snappy answer to all of life’s existential “Why?” questions.
- beer goggles
- 1. a visual apparatus for physical enhancement in the opposite sex.
- 2. the stuff good weekends and difficult mornings are made of.
more at six pack.