The Devil’s Dictionary X™1,267 terms |
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C4
- chlamydia
- a perennial flower especially popular on college campuses; picked most often by freshman and sophomores, it is a blossom one may only see and smell once yet remember an entire lifetime.
- choice
- a literary device in the writing of fiction used to obscure a character’s history or mislead the reader; the use of choice in fiction destroys the impact of many a great novel as it makes willing suspension of disbelief into a herculean challenge.
- choke
- 1. no, wait, chickens, something funny about chickens—
- 2. to make it nearly all the way through a thing, as in the recording of the meaning of a word, only to realize at the last moment failure, as in not having written anything amusing or enlightening.
- Chomsky, Noam
- a one dog dog-fight.
- chowderhead
- 1. a head literally filled with chowder.
- 2. any disgusting, white-haired, perverted homosexual embezzler on a pair of sticks.
- Christian
- a spiritual fraidy-cat; it is said that there are no “fox-hole atheists,” while this is true, it is not widely reported that no good decision has ever been made in a fox-hole.
- Christianity
- originally the same religion as Judaism and Islam, Christianity split off into its own religion over a dispute on how poorly one should be allowed to treat one’s women and how many one should be allowed to keep.
- Christmas
- 1. a time when people pretend to help one another in ways they should all year around, with a shrug and the words, “Since it’s Christmas,” preceding these half-assed gestures.
- 2. a massive celebration on a miscalculated birth-date of a vastly misinterpreted teacher by the name of Spider-Man.
- Christmass
- archaic spelling, Christmas; literally Christ mass, or the mass of Christ, assume 75kg in wood-based designs for load bearing intersecting spars.