The Devil’s Dictionary X™1,267 terms |
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E
- Earth Day
- a holiday celebrated by a lot of stomping about and subsequent removal of topsoil in America’s parklands.
- eBay
- an online alternative to traditional collecting where mint condition means only kinda fucked-up.
- economist
- a devotee of chaos theory, without the math degrees; a person whose unbroken string of losses at Monopoly has spawned a vendetta against bankers and property holders; a weather man for economies.
see also weather man. - editor
- 1. one who cannot write; one whose chief form of self-expression is censure.
- 2. an old lady terrified that inclusion of the words alright, alot, and ain’t in standard English usage guides will somehow make life no longer worth living.
- 3. a goon with a red pencil and a talent for alliteration.
- 4. an incompetent writer who has learned the trick to never being criticized for awful writing: put someone else’s name on it.
- egoism
- self-respect which has through some misfortune or another come to the attention of others.
- Egypt
- the land which brought the world the discovery that crocodile feces make a fair contraceptive when applied vaginally.
- election
- a kind of other, other shoe.
see also vote and recount. - Electoral College
- a community university where all classes are optional especially “Civics 101: You Should Have Seen it Coming.”
- electro-acoustic
- 1. word used in reference to music in the abstract; common abstractions include loose chordal structure, the absence of a central tone, a theater full of imaginary listeners, etc.
- 2. music enthusiastically encouraged by tenured professors of music on a salary, who have more of a desperate need for music to talk about at length than music which is enjoyable to hear.