The Devil’s Dictionary X™1,267 terms |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| a | b | c | d | e | f | g | h | i | j | k | l | m | n | o | p | q | r | s | t | u | v | w | x | y | z | # |
F2
- father
- a mawkish parody of God who creates children he claims infinite love for but instead casts out right about the time they discover they would probably rather be naked.
see also mother. - father
- 1. the name at the bottom of an absentee picture postcard in the vote regarding how one should address life’s many staggering tribulations.
- 2. in one’s late twenties, the source of some really excellent advice for a teenager.
- 3. a poorly timed kick in the teeth, or ass, usually followed by an embarrassing excuse for an apology.
- Father’s Day
- an afterthought to Mother’s Day concocted by daughters in need of capital and mother’s willing to say, “Oh, give the bastard a slot on the calendar, no one will remember it anyway and we can give Old Spice to rub in how much we despise him.”
compare to MotherÂ’s Day. - fax
- the final resort of urban procrastination.
- FCC
- 1. acronym, Federal Communications Commission; the agency responsible for setting the price rates for the broadcast of profanity.
- 2. the agency which decides what is decent for broadcast; among that which has been deemed decent are incest, gunshots to the face, bludgeoned and leaking skulls, hookers, rape, racism, and everything else in the world except these seven words: piss, shit, fuck, cunt, motherfucker, cocksucker, and tits, which are also actually considered decent as long as you pay the per use fee.
- fear
- 1. the state of knowing pretty well what’s going on.
- 2. the sensation in a writer that somewhere, in something he or she has written and submitted for publication, sits the word “your” where the contraction for “you are” ought to be.
- fearful
- sensible; reasonable; fully-conscious; adult.
- federal income tax
- 1. the national nuclear bomb fund donation program.
- 2. a sizable funnel into the IMF money pit.
- 3. the only way the Pentagon can afford quality hammers.
- 4. the scholarship fund for the School of the Americas.
- 5. a curious annual parasitic habit of the US government begun in 1913, scant years before, pure coincidence, the national economy came crashing down; a habit prohibited by the Fifth Amendment and disobedience of which is punishable by removal of all property and freedom without trial or warrant.
- fellate
- Latin for inflate.