OpenDevil » The Open Devil’s Dictionary

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The Devil’s Dictionary X™

1,267 terms

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The Devil’s Dictionary X™

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feminism
enlightened pursuit of equity by women.
compare with masculism.
feminist
1. one who takes sides.
2. a fish without ambition in regard to the Tour de France.
3. humorless; without joy.
Feng Shui
1. expensive Chinese fertilizer.
2. Mandarin for “Sinophilic pansy.”
fib
the act of describing one’s motives after viewing potential consequences of one’s actions.
fickle
the chief quality by which we can recognize the Muse responsible for the dispensation of choice punchlines.
fickleness
a woman’s prerogative, along with proper pronunciation apparently.
fight
1. n, a calm discussion consisting of at least forty percent utter silence.
2. v, to stand up boldly at the face of tremendous opposition; to complain.
3. archaic, a relatively fair match in hand to hand combat brought on by a drunken dispute ranging from noble to forgettable, and resulting in anything from a bloody nose to internal bleeding and plastic surgery.
final exam
the professor’s chance to express his or her opinion of your opinions—the degree to which they coincide is measured in alphabetical order.
financial aid
a government program which judges the dollar value of a student by exactly how unable he or she is to make money.

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