OpenDevil » The Open Devil’s Dictionary

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The Devil’s Dictionary X™

1,267 terms

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The Devil’s Dictionary X™

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genius
the state of constantly whining about oneself and one’s needs.
see also timeless.
genocide
a cheese sandwich.
German
1. a breed of European famous for its love of beer.
2. a breed of European famous for its patronage of soccer.
3. the very romantic breed of European famous for its love of cleanliness, efficiency, Crystal Evenings, Lightning Engagements, and, of course, killing Jews.
Germany
the power which has twice plunged the world into war in the last 100 years—ironically now a source of endless advice for how to prevent war; give them time, the century is yet young.
Gibson, Mel
a deeply religious actor and film maker with a pronounced reading disability regarding the 2nd Commandment.
girl
archaic, a brutal epithet for “woman” used to rob respect; considered offensive.
compare with boy.
girlfriend
1. one with an innate moral high-ground.
2. an albatross.
glutton
1. one insatiable for punishment, especially a graduate student of the liberal arts.
2. one who reads adamantly about the exploitations of big corporations, while remaining a resident of the United States.
3. ages 13-25, eight or more times a day.
4. ages 31-45, eight or more times a week.
5. oh, shut up you old crooner, you’ve had your fun.
gnat-fucker
1. a bizarre exclamation of profanity.
2. a native of the east coast; needle dicked.

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