OpenDevil » The Open Devil’s Dictionary

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The Devil’s Dictionary X™

1,267 terms

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The Devil’s Dictionary X™

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hater
a manipulative criticism against the critics wise to one’s manipulative tactics; the equivalent of saying, “You are,” in a sandbox twice in a row before the other kid has actually said anything.
HDTV
a drug oriented cable access show that’s been canceled.
heart
1. a palpitating vessel in the chest area of many living creatures, which over time and use decreases substantially in strength and relevance.
2. an offering of another’s generosity to oneself, as in, “Have a heart.”
3. a crucial organ associated with happiness and well-being, the decay of which can be measured approximately by glancing back at the dreams in one’s recent past, and then mulling over, repeatedly, one’s current, mind-numbing inability to raise a finger to change the situation.
heathen
one of the early or primitive races of man, so spiritually backward as to pray out of doors and fabricate idols from materials far inferior to Carrera marble.
heavy metal
what was considered by parents to be non-musical and dangerous before rap came along.
Hell
1. a fictitious land in Christian mythology of eternal punishment and torment.
2. Los Angeles.
3. a place of perpetual certainty; e.g., sure as hell; when hell freezes over.
4. Detroit.
5. the final destination of all political inroads.
6. Sacramento’s Greyhound bus depot.
helpful
1. unconscious.
2. easy.
3. forgetful.
hero
a word which clearly demonstrates the evolutionary action of single point mutation.
heroic
that which, through positive excellence, implicates others of positive lack; antonym, you.

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