OpenDevil » The Open Devil’s Dictionary

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The Devil’s Dictionary X™

1,267 terms

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The Devil’s Dictionary X™

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intelligent design
a theory of life and existence based on the idea that only a super intelligence could have conceived of anything as complex and beautiful as diarrhea or herpes.
compare with evolution.
interesting
the most harsh word of art criticism so far found.
compare with clever.
Internet
an international pornography distribution network built by the US government for use in the event nuclear war might make it too dangerous to get to the smut stand.
Internet shut-in
one who has discovered that the national news media are not only biased but always 2 days behind Yahoo and the Drudge Report, that the local grocer cannot compete with the exotic selections of hundreds of online food sources, that all shopping can be completed without the interference of rude or ignorant clerks, and that a print magazine of pornography has a few dozen images at best while entering the most modest of lewd terms on Google will fetch you 50,000 or so.
Internet widow
a wife whose husband spends so much time viewing Internet porn that he may as well be dead.
internity
compound term, Internet + eternity; describing the quality of longevity inherent in one’s online faux pas and misadventures into bashing employers, potential or current.
interrobang
to emphatically inquire of a typesetter whether he or she wishes to engage in sexual intercourse.
intriguing
a problem which has no possible solution.
invitation
1. that which is assumed by men and expected by women.
2. a vampire’s—or Senator’s—means of entry.

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