The Devil’s Dictionary X™1,267 terms |
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L2
- letter
- archaic, the pre-computer-age habit of writing upon pulped wood with a hand operated stylus and ink; and the subsequent analog transmission of the data contained therein via human and mechanical agency.
- Lexus
- 1. the sign by which the aristocracy will be recognized during the Great Guillotine Revival of the late 21st century.
- 2. the unpublished masterpiece by Henry Miller detailing step by step how to convince young girls to let one stick candles in their anuses.
- liar
- one who is basically honest but is on other occasions a useless waste of skin.
- Liberia
- a country in Africa founded for and by black American expatriates; a chance to demonstrate their innate superiority to the white man by denying the right to vote to their own Negroes for fully 76 years longer.
- Libertarian
- 1. a political curiosity; a person whose political view consists of knowing what’s right and then closing one’s eyes.
compare with Democrat and Republican. - 2. a Druid; a political kamikaze; a harmlessly unelectable psychopath.
- lick
- 1. to appease a spouse.
- 2. to defeat an enemy.
- 3. to garner a promotion.
- 4. to heal a wound.
- lie
- 1. to utter something untrue; as the Master teaches us, lies come in many levels: fib, white lie, lie, out and out lie, damn lie, goddamn lie, and statistics.
- 2. to speak about one’s career.
- 3. to speak to one’s lover.
see also data. - Limbaugh, Rush
- 1. a clinical dietitian whose has advanced a fantastically successful theory of weight-loss, being prescription narcotics block appetite every bit as effectively as heroin and opium; more at pill-popper.
- 2. a philosopher who has proposed an enlightened theory of segregation, namely black drug abusers in prison, white drug abusers on the radio.
see also radio disc jockey. - linguist
- 1. one whose skill with the tongue is, sadly, rather limited to enunciation.
- 2. from the Latin for tongue, lingua; a tonguer, one who tongues.