OpenDevil » The Open Devil’s Dictionary

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The Devil’s Dictionary X™

1,267 terms

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The Devil’s Dictionary X™

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Linux
a little-known character from the Asterix and Obelix novels whose fictitious fame rests on his proclivity for diddling penguins.
literally
the sound a human rectum makes when trying to pronounce the word “figuratively.”
live
1. to be alive, have life.
2. to be single.
3. to exhibit zest, vim, or vigor in.
4. to be single and male.
living
the process of attaching unpleasant memories to geographic coordinates.
locomotive
a compound Spanish-Latin term describing the reasons why one does anything.
LOL
Internet acronym, Lick or Lube.
Lollapalooza
a touring music show of various alternative artists that went bust for the last time in 2004; the fact that they could not sell tickets with a lineup of cutting edge virtuosi—including Morrissey, the Flaming Lips, the String Cheese Incident, Le Tigre, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, and the Pixies—is a sad and damning testimony against how little young people appreciate the rare remaining musical artists who have the ability to remain simultaneously dated, pretentious, and beggarly.
see also punk and alternative.
lonely
1. describing one of a thoughtful, or philosophically balanced nature.
2. a Californian on the East Coast.
3. a musician in the Western Hemisphere.
4. a writer, in the company of others.
5. any American in a foreign country who is capable of speaking and understanding the native tongue.
long distance relationship
1. an agonizing project of ungodly phone bills and endless lacking.
2. according to a certain wise Mexican cliché translated literally, “for pussies.”
3. a lesson that’ll slap you in the face mercilessly every time you let your guard down until someone either breaks it off or moves to suit the other one’s weather preferences.

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