The Devil’s Dictionary X™1,267 terms |
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N2
- never
- the time span between resolution and desperation.
- new
- something one is forced to learn every goddamn day.
- New Age
- the religions, fallacies, snake oils, and spiritual slaveries of the old age in plastic packaging.
compare with old age. - New England
- 1. a string of overheated Duncan Donuts, without the public restrooms or amusing counterstaff.
- 2. to New York as the Bay Area is to Los Angeles: snotty where they should imitate, imitative where they could stand to show independence.
- 3. a series of bewildering turnstiles leading to crass business meetings of genetically ambiguous opportunity—Mutant Valley.
- 4. where the big money isn’t as big, but every bit as dirty.
- New Mexico
- the Land of Enchantment, also the land of minimum wage part-time work without benefits where a one bedroom mud-hut at the end of a snowed-in road rents at $750 a month.
- New York
- a modern city-state which appears to be the center of world culture, commerce, fashion, design, and art when viewed through the skylight of one’s rectum.
- Newfie
- 1. a large, strong swimming animal from Newfoundland, with thick black hair and webbed feet, used for difficult labor and excused from mentally demanding tasks.
- 2. a breed of dog.
- news room
- a room containing 100 typing monkeys with bylines; if they type long enough the odds are 100% that one will receive a Pulitzer.
see also journalist. - newspaper
- 1. any nonsensical, poorly organized collection of fluff set to type and printed on cheap paper with inferior ink.
- 2. a detailed, often exaggerated description of anything unsettling which may occur, mixed in with a lot of fluff.
- 3. a type of writing which no reader is willing to pay for.
see also advertising.