The Devil’s Dictionary X™1,267 terms |
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P
- pager
- 1. a simple service to receive calls, costing an average of eight dollars a month to keep, which has somehow come to imply a superlative income.
- 2. an employer’s homing device, useful in commanding only the most pigeon-like employees.
- Paglia, Camille
- 1. one of ten living women who deserves to be allowed to carry an unlicensed vagina—the other nine will not be described here; they do not include Madonna, nor Hillary Clinton.
- 2. the only college woman still worthy to arouse a male editor’s sexual desire and devotion who is, quite predictably, a lesbian.
- pain
- 1. knowledge.
- 2. intelligence.
- 3. love; especially when combined with meanings 1 and 2 above.
- Palestine
- South Central Israel.
- paranoid
- describing one with the ability to read thoughts and predict the future.
- parenthood
- Paris
- a well-lighted, fantastically beautiful pay-toilet, with uncharacteristically unappreciative attendants.
- park
- to fornicate; e.g., “Let’s park.”
- parthenogenesis
- 1. spontaneous reproduction via an unfertilized female gamete.
- 2. the militant feminist lesbian’s wet-dream.