OpenDevil » The Open Devil’s Dictionary

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The Devil’s Dictionary X™

1,267 terms

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The Devil’s Dictionary X™

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Sappho
1. a Greek poet of the isle of Lesbos who has had a great deal of influence on modern feminism.
2. a real pain the ass.
Satan
the antithesis to the almighty God of Abraham and Passover, whose unspeakable evils range from teasing Jesus to giving unsound dietetic advice.
satire
the clearing of one’s pipes—an intellectual replacement for a good nose blow, sneeze, orgasm, etc.
satirist
one who behaves as a Satyr.
see also satyriasis.
satisfaction
Chinese food for the soul.
satyriasis
a medical condition causing an itch in constant need of scratching; psoriasis of the libido.
more at satyriasis.
scale
minimum wage for actors, approximately 12 times the minimum wage for regular people having skills which society needs.
more at actor.
Scientology
1. a traveling sideshow based out of LA; Quakerism with a computer chip in its ass and a salesman on its breath; secular humanism wed to spiritism by a Catholic priest.
2. the religion of the irreligious; the faith of moviestars.
3. science and the suffix -ology mean approximately the same thing; proof that doubling a word can add to its impact; e.g., “dumb-dumb.”
Scotland
the land of saints—birthplace of Scotch.

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