The Devil’s Dictionary X™1,267 terms |
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T
- tail
- 1. regarding animals and general nouns, the hindmost tapering part.
- 2. regarding women, the hindmost beveled and bifurcated part.
- 3. regarding the US Navy, the following nautical adage may be universally applied: any port in a storm.
- Tao
- a philosophy which encourages one to be like water and flow to the path of least resistance, the drain.
- tautology
- this whole thing.
- tea
- 1. a hot beverage served by the British between meals, as an additional opportunity to express their distaste for one another.
- 2. a similar beverage served in China which is the only element of their national diet not containing endangered animals.
- teach
- 1. to impart knowledge about something previously unknown.
- 2. to clear up a misunderstanding; e.g., “That’ll teach you.”
- team player
- 1. a gangster; a gang member.
- 2. one able to hold another down while the team goes to work.
- 3. one who has no prospects for becoming a leader.
- technology
- human development of tools; the scientific movement forward revolving around laziness, for which the body of human society is willing to step on and mangle its own reproductive organ; the future.
- teenager
- a sort of diet human being—all the sex and murder, half the responsibility.
- teething
- 1. a condition affecting babies whereupon they are compelled to have something in their mouths at all times.
- 2. a similar condition affecting freshman and sophomore sorority girls.