OpenDevil » The Open Devil’s Dictionary

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The Devil’s Dictionary X™

1,267 terms

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The Devil’s Dictionary X™

T3


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terrorist
1. a mass-murderer, arsonist, bomber, etc who has the convenience of a family or community to hide behind.
2. a family or community member that stands between a bullet and a mass-murderer, arsonist, bomber, etc.
testicles
an illegal substance in the marble neighborhoods of the District of Columbia.
testosterone
a thin chemical often compared with helium in that it’s the hot air which initiates the inflation and flight of the male ego.
tetragrammaton
the four letters spelling the unspeakable name of God, pronounced Yahweh or Jehovah depending upon how one prefers never to utter it.
Tetris
a type of Russian venereal disease.
Texas
the only foreign country the US has any real business bombing.
thanatology
the science of accelerating appointments with the Reaper via the whittling away of one’s given hours in endless revisions and preparations for said immutable tryst.
Thanksgiving
a holiday predicated on the prudence of thanking a rather unforgiving creator on a regular schedule regardless of there being anything remotely likely to be thankful for.
therapeutically correct
1. bound by self-help shackles.
2. a bizarre language of selfishness—refusing to make reference of anything in the second or third person.
3. moping around with the weight of one’s therapist’s problems as well as one’s own.
4. beginning and ending every sentence with one’s irrational feelings on a matter.

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