OpenDevil » The Open Devil’s Dictionary

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The Devil’s Dictionary X™

1,267 terms

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The Devil’s Dictionary X™

V2


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Venn
a mathematical way of defining a person using the most realistic method, by the circles in which one moves.
veterinarian
a pussy doctor.
Viagra
1. the beginning of the end of human existence; a way to trick evolution into destroying through genetics what warmongers could not destroy through the splitting of the atom; the trump card of phallocentricity; alt spellings, viarga, vi@gr@, v-i-a-g-r-a, and so on.
2. a potion meant to save humanity from an apparently imminent extinction brought about by the flagging frequency of sexual intercourse between senior citizens.
Vichy
a German breed of lapdog known for its ability to roll over.
victim
1. a newly minted hero.
2. archaic usage, one who had been beaten, swindled; modern usage, one who has parents, went to public school, fell in love, or has been shopping.
video store
a noble business enterprise built on a long-established bedrock of American laziness, forgetfulness, and consequential tardiness in return.
see also, late fee.
violence
1. the last recourse of the idiot.
2. the initial course of the fit.
virgin
a young woman of remarkably poor looks living in a dry county.
Virgin Mary
a theory purporting a hymen can technically only be broken from the outside.

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