OpenDevil » The Open Devil’s Dictionary

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The Devil’s Dictionary X™

1,267 terms

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The Devil’s Dictionary X™

V3


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virtual
from the Latin virtu, true; truth.
vitriol
rancor; bitterness; charisma.
vocation
1. one’s calling; one’s passion in life made proud service to God and man, provided it falls under one of twenty two alphabetized choices, starting with “Accountant,” and ending with “Xerox Machine Operator.”
2. the computer chip some new world priest shoved up your ass during the “baptism.”
volunteer-work
1. any number of hours of community service most easily afforded and readily bragged about by rich momma’s boys.
2. a spot on one’s résumé; also worth bringing up with due false humility in front of chicks.
3. a cynical and self-conscious attempt to improve one’s chances of making the state college undergrad to Harvard grad genetic leap.
voracious
confronted with impending drought or dearth.
vote
1. worth a try, provided your vote is going to lead the decisions of at least half a million others.
2. approximately 1/1,000th as effective in causing change as a letter to your Congressman.
3. approximately 1/1,000,000,000th as effective in causing change as a bullet to your Congressman.
more at Congress.
vulnerability
what is often and tragically mistaken for harmlessness.

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