The Open Devil’s Dictionary23 terms |
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Highest rated words
- Nobel Peace Prize
- a prize many would, and often do, kill to possess.
- marriage
- 1. a lopsided financial contract entered into by either dimwitted or pregnant young adults. Said contract is dissolvable by either party for any reason, leaving the remaining party financially liable for all debt incurred during the length of the marriage. Fortunately age and maturity usually spells the demise of most marriages leading to freedom, self actualization, and frequently reoccurring high caliber copulations — qualities noticeably absent in between the consumption of wedding cake and divorce.
- 2. An outmoded institution designed to give state and religious authorities control over the individual’s life in an attempt to bind one to a situation favorable for successful and stable child rearing. Its framework was originally conceived when an adult’s life expectancy was shorter than the time required to bring offspring to full maturity.
- nature
- a broad expanse experienced by the typical American at a velocity of approximately 65 miles per hour.
- love
- a synonym for insanity.
- toilet troll
- 1. A person who enters a public restroom with the sole intention of emptying their bowels on the floor of the restroom without alerting the employees/custodians of the facility.
- 2. A person hiding in a public restroom who habitually engages others in dialog while relieving themselves.
- 3. George Michael.
- fellate
- a human endeavor which has never produced a single fully competent practitioner as even the best who attempt it suck.
- Evil
- 1. The son of a bitch who came up with the idea you have to work to make money.
- 2. The parents that gave birth Paris Hilton. It should be noted that Satan gave her back upon contracting a new STD commonly now referred to as Itchy Whore Dick itis.
- 3. God’s sense of humor. Based on the fact that the most intense moments of our lives are punctuated by babies mommas and court hearings.
- 4. Slipping a nun a roofie and then not calling her the next day.
- 5. Why duck tape and small mammals make me smile.
- 6. The fact that holy water gives me a rash.
- 7. Seriously debating about a career in which you transport young minors across a national border and use them to start a child prostitution ring cause you don’t feel inspired to go to college.
- job
- an acronym used to describe most of the civilized world today: just over broke.
- snarky
- the self-involved collision of overbearing temerity with journalistic remove; spectators often slow down to watch but only because they are compelled to see how gory the accident might be.
- assassination
- a form of censorship that can be enforced by a bullet or with the stroke of a pen.