OpenDevil » The Open Devil’s Dictionary

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OpenDevil » PanDictionary

Daily Definitions for 11 March 2010

The Devil’s Dictionary X™
Los Angeles
1. Magic Mountain.
2. Disneyland.
3. a bigger dick waiting to break off in your naive little “I think I want to be in show business” mumbling ass than you can possibly imagine.
see Hell.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
homophobic
a condition typified by an irrational fear of what is the same; e.g., “Tom had never believed he was homophobic until he discovered Stephen King’s new novel at the airport lounge giftshop.”
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
politics
the art or science of government, which is itself defined as the control of art and science, thus establishing a logic puzzle capable of causing Zeno of Elea’s head to explode.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Grave
n. A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.
  Beside a lonely grave I stood —
      With brambles ’twas encumbered;
  The winds were moaning in the wood,
      Unheard by him who slumbered,
  A rustic standing near, I said:
      “He cannot hear it blowing!”
  “’Course not,” said he: “the feller’s dead —
      He can’t hear nowt [sic] that’s going.”
  “Too true,” I said; “alas, too true —
      No sound his sense can quicken!”
  ”Well, mister, wot is that to you? —
      The deadster ain’t a-kickin’.”
  I knelt and prayed: “O Father, smile
      On him, and mercy show him!”
  That countryman looked on the while,
      And said: “Ye didn’t know him.”
Pobeter Dunko

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