OpenDevil » The Open Devil’s Dictionary

NOTE: OpenDevil is in public beta. You should not yet count on data persistence, especially votes, if you register. This was last modified 22 July 2007

OpenDevil » PanDictionary

2,361 terms

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz #

OpenDevil » PanDictionary

A2


«·Z ‹·A1 · A3·› B·»

The Devil’s Dictionary
Abnormal
adj. Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested. Wherefore the lexicographer adviseth a striving toward the straiter [sic] resemblance of the Average Man than he hath to himself. Whoso attaineth thereto shall have peace, the prospect of death and the hope of Hell.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Aboriginies
n. Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Abracadabra

  By Abracadabra we signify
      An infinite number of things.
  ’Tis the answer to What? and How? and Why?
  And Whence? and Whither? — a word whereby
      The Truth (with the comfort it brings)
  Is open to all who grope in night,
  Crying for Wisdom’s holy light.
  Whether the word is a verb or a noun
      Is knowledge beyond my reach.
  I only know that ’tis handed down.
          From sage to sage,
          From age to age —
      An immortal part of speech!
  Of an ancient man the tale is told
  That he lived to be ten centuries old,
      In a cave on a mountain side.
      (True, he finally died.)
  The fame of his wisdom filled the land,
  For his head was bald, and you’ll understand
      His beard was long and white
      And his eyes uncommonly bright.
  Philosophers gathered from far and near
  To sit at his feet and hear and hear,
          Though he never was heard
          To utter a word
      But “Abracadabra, abracadab,
          Abracada, abracad,
      Abraca, abrac, abra, ab!
          ’Twas all he had,
  ’Twas all they wanted to hear, and each
  Made copious notes of the mystical speech,
          Which they published next —
          A trickle of text
  In the meadow of commentary.
      Mighty big books were these,
      In a number, as leaves of trees;
  In learning, remarkably — very!
          He’s dead,
          As I said,
  And the books of the sages have perished,
  But his wisdom is sacredly cherished.
  In Abracadabra it solemnly rings,
  Like an ancient bell that forever swings.
          O, I love to hear
          That word make clear
  Humanity’s General Sense of Things.
Jamrach Holobom
The Devil’s Dictionary
Abridge
v.t. To shorten.
      When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for
  people to abridge their king, a decent respect for the opinions of
  mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel
  them to the separation.
Oliver Cromwell
The Devil’s Dictionary
Abrupt
adj. Sudden, without ceremony, like the arrival of a cannon- shot and the departure of the soldier whose interests are most affected by it. Dr. Samuel Johnson beautifully said of another author’s ideas that they were “concatenated without abruption.”
The Devil’s Dictionary
Abscond
v.i. To “move in a mysterious way,” commonly with the property of another.
  Spring beckons! All things to the call respond;
  The trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.
Phela Orm
The Devil’s Dictionary
Absent
adj. Peculiarly exposed to the tooth of detraction; vilifed; hopelessly in the wrong; superseded in the consideration and affection of another.
  To men a man is but a mind. Who cares
  What face he carries or what form he wears?
  But woman’s body is the woman. O,
  Stay thou, my sweetheart, and do never go,
  But heed the warning words the sage hath said:
  A woman absent is a woman dead.
Jogo Tyree
The Devil’s Dictionary
Absentee
n. A person with an income who has had the forethought to remove himself from the sphere of exaction.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Absolute
adj. Independent, irresponsible. An absolute monarchy is one in which the sovereign does as he pleases so long as he pleases the assassins. Not many absolute monarchies are left, most of them having been replaced by limited monarchies, where the sovereign’s power for evil (and for good) is greatly curtailed, and by republics, which are governed by chance.

«·Z ‹·A1 · A3·› B·»