OpenDevil » PanDictionary2,355 terms |
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E3
- Elector
- n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man’s choice.
- Electoral College
- a community university where all classes are optional especially “Civics 101: You Should Have Seen it Coming.”
- Electricity
- n. The power that causes all natural phenomena not known
to be caused by something else. It is the same thing as lightning,
and its famous attempt to strike Dr. Franklin is one of the most
picturesque incidents in that great and good man’s career. The memory
of Dr. Franklin is justly held in great reverence, particularly in
France, where a waxen effigy of him was recently on exhibition,
bearing the following touching account of his life and services to
science:
”Monsieur Franqulin, inventor of electricity. This
illustrious savant, after having made several voyages around the
world, died on the Sandwich Islands and was devoured by savages,
of whom not a single fragment was ever recovered.”Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the
arts and industries. The question of its economical application to
some purposes is still unsettled, but experiment has already proved
that it will propel a street car better than a gas jet and give more
light than a horse. - electro-acoustic
- 1. word used in reference to music in the abstract; common abstractions include loose chordal structure, the absence of a central tone, a theater full of imaginary listeners, etc.
- 2. music enthusiastically encouraged by tenured professors of music on a salary, who have more of a desperate need for music to talk about at length than music which is enjoyable to hear.
- Elegy
- n. A composition in verse, in which, without employing any of
the methods of humor, the writer aims to produce in the reader’s mind
the dampest kind of dejection. The most famous English example begins
somewhat like this:
The cur foretells the knell of parting day;
The loafing herd winds slowly o’er the lea;
The wise man homeward plods; I only stay
To fiddle-faddle in a minor key. - Eloquence
- n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
- Elysium
- n. An imaginary delightful country which the ancients foolishly believed to be inhabited by the spirits of the good. This ridiculous and mischievous fable was swept off the face of the earth by the early Christians — may their souls be happy in Heaven!
- 1. a hot new communication tool poised to overthrow the mass media’s dull monarchy over humanity.
- 2. a chance at writing several people the same message, showing them the same picture; form-letter 2.0.
- 3. a sickeningly blatant glance at the lack of imagination which plagues the vast majority; a mirror.
- 4. a friendly yet insistent sales pitch; an advertisement.
- 5. an inescapable convenience in Hell; a torture device.
- Emancipation
- n. A bondman’s change from the tyranny of another to
the despotism of himself.
He was a slave: at word he went and came;
G.J.
His iron collar cut him to the bone.
Then Liberty erased his owner’s name,
Tightened the rivets and inscribed his own.
