OpenDevil » The Open Devil’s Dictionary

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2,355 terms

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OpenDevil » PanDictionary

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The Devil’s Dictionary X™
ga-ga
1. the first and only words out of an infantile cartoon character.
2. how too many women feel about Mickey Rourke.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
gag
1. to bind the mouth of another, usually with the intention of silencing him or her.
2. an action or expression meant to be amusing.
3. all of the above.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Gallows
n. A stage for the performance of miracle plays, in which the leading actor is translated to heaven. In this country the gallows is chiefly remarkable for the number of persons who escape it.
  Whether on the gallows high
      Or where blood flows the reddest,
  The noblest place for man to die —
      Is where he died the deadest.
(Old play)
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
game
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
gang
1. a small to large sized government body whose jurisdiction covers a couple of street corners and lasts until the police come and lay everybody down or send them scattering in every direction.
2. one of several to hundreds of uncooperative cliques per stagnant city; the cooperation of which any changes in such a city would decidedly depend upon.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Gargoyle
n. A rain-spout projecting from the eaves of mediaeval buildings, commonly fashioned into a grotesque caricature of some personal enemy of the architect or owner of the building. This was especially the case in churches and ecclesiastical structures generally, in which the gargoyles presented a perfect rogues’ gallery of local heretics and controversialists. Sometimes when a new dean and chapter were installed the old gargoyles were removed and others substituted having a closer relation to the private animosities of the new incumbents.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
garnish
descriptive noun referring to any blond on the stage or screen.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Garther
n. An elastic band intended to keep a woman from coming out of her stockings and desolating the country.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
Gates, Bill
1. an ambitious man whose lack of personality at all times counterbalances his net worth.
2. a successful businessman whose creative achievements carry a lot more zeros than ones.
3. a cheap pair of glasses in front of a masterful criminal mind; a hundred-fifteen pound twit smiling while he shafts you or drives drunk; a poorly endowed buggering geek or jerk-off; every computer programmer’s Daddy.

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