OpenDevil » PanDictionary2,361 terms |
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H2
- Halotosis
- a condition afflicting most hard core gamers.
- Hamsterdam
- what’s the matter with you? are you insane?
- Hand
- n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody’s pocket.
- Handkerchief
- n. A small square of silk or linen, used in various ignoble offices about the face and especially serviceable at funerals to conceal the lack of tears. The handkerchief is of recent invention; our ancestors knew nothing of it and intrusted its duties to the sleeve. Shakespeare’s introducing it into the play of “Othello” is an anachronism: Desdemona dried her nose with her skirt, as Dr. Mary Walker and other reformers have done with their coattails in our own day — an evidence that revolutions sometimes go backward.
- Hangman
- n. An officer of the law charged with duties of the highest dignity and utmost gravity, and held in hereditary disesteem by a populace having a criminal ancestry. In some of the American States his functions are now performed by an electrician, as in New Jersey, where executions by electricity have recently been ordered — the first instance known to this lexicographer of anybody questioning the expediency of hanging Jerseymen.
- Hanukkah
- a desperate bid by Jewish parents everywhere to prevent their children from converting in droves each December; its limited success due to the fact that eight days of socks, underwear, and potato pancakes cannot hold a candle, let alone eight, to Dream House Barbie and GI Joe.
- Happiness
- n. An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
- happiness
- 1. sad complacency.
- 2. the upside to a good manic.
- 3. waking up from a heavy night of drinking and then discovering funds still reside in one’s bank account.
- Harangue
- n. A speech by an opponent, who is known as an harrangue- outang.
