OpenDevil » The Open Devil’s Dictionary

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The Devil’s Dictionary
Harbor
n. A place where ships taking shelter from storms are exposed to the fury of the customs.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Harmonists
n. A sect of Protestants, now extinct, who came from Europe in the beginning of the last century and were distinguished for the bitterness of their internal controversies and dissensions.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
harmony
1. naturalist term describing a bloody, vicious struggle where the murder and birth rates manage to stay in step.
2. popular culture term describing a velvet painting of a smiling lion peacefully surrounded by lambs; a similar portrait of Native Americans.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Hash
x. There is no definition for this word — nobody knows what hash is.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Hatchet
n. A young axe, known among Indians as a Thomashawk.
  ”O bury the hatchet, irascible Red,
  For peace is a blessing,” the White Man said.
      The Savage concurred, and that weapon interred,
  With imposing rites, in the White Man’s head.
John Lukkus
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
hate
1. an indigestible dish traditionally served in a bottomless bowl.
2. hat with an e on the end; isn’t that silly? don’t you feel better about it all now?
3. a jewel with a Mohs’ value of 10.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
hater
a manipulative criticism against the critics wise to one’s manipulative tactics; the equivalent of saying, “You are,” in a sandbox twice in a row before the other kid has actually said anything.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Hatred
n. A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another’s superiority.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
HDTV
a drug oriented cable access show that’s been canceled.

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