OpenDevil » The Open Devil’s Dictionary

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OpenDevil » PanDictionary

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The Devil’s Dictionary
Illuminati
n. A sect of Spanish heretics of the latter part of the sixteenth century; so called because they were light weights — cunctationes illuminati.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Illustrious
adj. Suitably placed for the shafts of malice, envy and detraction.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
IM, instant message
1. in the workplace: the equivalent of unwanted company appearing at your desk when you’re on a deadline, and then reappearing, and then asking if you’re paying attention, then popping back around to ask if you saw that cute picture of kittens that went around the office yesterday, then checking in to see if you got the email he just sent you, and then reappearing at your desk just to smile, and then asking where the work is that you’re supposed to be done with.
2. the revenge of the lonely and insecure, violently visited upon any poor wretch with an answering machine who doesn’t mind being out of contact with all the leaves of his address book for so much as an hour.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
imagination
premeditated fear.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Imagination
n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
imagine
to shirk one’s duty to the moment.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Imbecility
n. A kind of divine inspiration, or sacred fire affecting censorious critics of this dictionary.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
immigrant
someone initially arriving in the United States with hopes of obtaining some pretty exceptional carrots.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Immigrant
n. An unenlightened person who thinks one country better than another.

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