OpenDevil » PanDictionary2,350 terms |
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J2
- Jealous
- adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.
- jealousy
- 1. the first step toward understanding your true and lasting place in the world.
- 2. the act of checking, by eye or subtle pen-mark, the level of one’s household tube of K-Y Jelly.
- Jester
- n. An officer formerly attached to a king’s household, whose
business it was to amuse the court by ludicrous actions and
utterances, the absurdity being attested by his motley costume. The
king himself being attired with dignity, it took the world some
centuries to discover that his own conduct and decrees were
sufficiently ridiculous for the amusement not only of his court but of
all mankind. The jester was commonly called a fool, but the poets and
romancers have ever delighted to represent him as a singularly wise
and witty person. In the circus of to-day the melancholy ghost of the
court fool effects the dejection of humbler audiences with the same
jests wherewith in life he gloomed the marble hall, panged the
patrician sense of humor and tapped the tank of royal tears.
The widow-queen of Portugal
Had an audacious jester
Who entered the confessional
Disguised, and there confessed her.“Father,” she said, “thine ear bend down —
My sins are more than scarlet:
I love my fool — blaspheming clown,
And common, base-born varlet.”“Daughter,” the mimic priest replied,
”That sin, indeed, is awful:
The church’s pardon is denied
To love that is unlawful.
”But since thy stubborn heart will be
For him forever pleading,
Thou’dst better make him, by decree,
A man of birth and breeding.”She made the fool a duke, in hope
Barel Dort
With Heaven’s taboo to palter;
Then told a priest, who told the Pope,
Who damned her from the altar! - Jesus
- 1. one third of a trinity of deities consisting of the following: Jesus, Mohammed, and Buddha.
- 2. the most famous Jew in history whose followers have sworn to emulate his life; they begin by swearing off Jewry and killing or persecuting as many Jews as are readily available.
- Jesus freak
- 1. epithet used to describe a Baptist, considered offensive.
- 2. epithet used to describe a Baptist, considered accurate.
see also Jesus phreak. - Jesus phreak
- 1. a born again hacker.
- 2. a man or woman with a sexual complex relating to the savior; one who carries a spear instead of a torch.
see also Jesus freak. - Jew
- 1. a Semite; member of the Arabian races.
- 2. a matrilineal race characterized by habitual mutilation of the male sex organ and an overfondness for banking.
- 3. the chosen people; chosen last and for the worst in all cases to date.
- Jews-harp
- n. An unmusical instrument, played by holding it fast with the teeth and trying to brush it away with the finger.
- job
- 1. a killing performed for money; a hit.
- 2. a sex act of any kind (blow-job, rim-job, a lube-job, etc).
- 3. what one pretends to do in the hope others will work.
- 4. the single most distasteful implication of adulthood.
- 5. something so repellent to the modern American psyche that it is actively avoided at all costs.
[the single exception to definition 5 is the immigrant, who has no distaste for—or difficulty excelling at—work; ranging from scientific to janitorial.]
more on American significance at lottery.
