OpenDevil » The Open Devil’s Dictionary

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The Devil’s Dictionary
Oath
n. In law, a solemn appeal to the Deity, made binding upon the conscience by a penalty for perjury.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
obedience
a quality which delineates the finest of dogs and brides.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
Objectivism
a modern theory of ethics stating that the highest moral value is to be found in the objective—best summed up by its anonymous antecedent: the ends justify the means.
see also objectivist and Ayn Rand.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
objectivist
1. one who objects.
2. one who is objective to the point of becoming objectionable.
more at Objectivism.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
oblige
to leave an opening or reveal a weakness; to empower another for the abuse of one’s trust.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Oblivion
n. The state or condition in which the wicked cease from struggling and the dreary are at rest. Fame’s eternal dumping ground. Cold storage for high hopes. A place where ambitious authors meet their works without pride and their betters without envy. A dormitory without an alarm clock.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
obscure
1. majenta.
2. self-reference; as in a joke on a magazine in the magazine itself.
3. Ambrose Bierce’s “Devil’s Dictionary” published on such and such a date, later recalled by such and such Internet authors.
4. round about, unnoticed self-denigration.
5. Gwinnett.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Observatory
n. A place where astronomers conjecture away the guesses of their predecessors.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Obsessed
p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus tells of a peasant who was occupied by a different devil for every day in the week, and on Sundays by two. They were frequently seen, always walking in his shadow, when he had one, but were finally driven away by the village notary, a holy man; but they took the peasant with them, for he vanished utterly. A devil thrown out of a woman by the Archbishop of Rheims ran through the trees, pursued by a hundred persons, until the open country was reached, where by a leap higher than a church spire he escaped into a bird. A chaplain in Cromwell’s army exorcised a soldier’s obsessing devil by throwing the soldier into the water, when the devil came to the surface. The soldier, unfortunately, did not.

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