OpenDevil » The Open Devil’s Dictionary

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OpenDevil » PanDictionary

2,349 terms

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OpenDevil » PanDictionary

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The Devil’s Dictionary 2.0
p2p
A class of computer network, designed to allow people to remain safely anonymous while they trade public domain documents and songs to which they own the copyright.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
pager
1. a simple service to receive calls, costing an average of eight dollars a month to keep, which has somehow come to imply a superlative income.
2. an employer’s homing device, useful in commanding only the most pigeon-like employees.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
Paglia, Camille
1. one of ten living women who deserves to be allowed to carry an unlicensed vagina—the other nine will not be described here; they do not include Madonna, nor Hillary Clinton.
2. the only college woman still worthy to arouse a male editor’s sexual desire and devotion who is, quite predictably, a lesbian.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Pain
n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
pain
1. knowledge.
2. intelligence.
3. love; especially when combined with meanings 1 and 2 above.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Painting
n. The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic. Formerly, painting and sculpture were combined in the same work: the ancients painted their statues. The only present alliance between the two arts is that the modern painter chisels his patrons.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Palace
n. A fine and costly residence, particularly that of a great official. The residence of a high dignitary of the Christian Church is called a palace; that of the Founder of his religion was known as a field, or wayside. There is progress.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
Palestine
South Central Israel.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Palm
n. A species of tree having several varieties, of which the familiar “itching palm” (Palma hominis) is most widely distributed and sedulously cultivated. This noble vegetable exudes a kind of invisible gum, which may be detected by applying to the bark a piece of gold or silver. The metal will adhere with remarkable tenacity. The fruit of the itching palm is so bitter and unsatisfying that a considerable percentage of it is sometimes given away in what are known as “benefactions.”

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