OpenDevil » The Open Devil’s Dictionary

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The Devil’s Dictionary
R.I.P.
A careless abbreviation of requiescat in pace, attesting to indolent goodwill to the dead. According to the learned Dr. Drigge, however, the letters originally meant nothing more than reductus in pulvis.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Rabble
n. In a republic, those who exercise a supreme authority tempered by fraudulent elections. The rabble is like the sacred Simurgh, of Arabian fable — omnipotent on condition that it do nothing. (The word is Aristocratese, and has no exact equivalent in our tongue, but means, as nearly as may be, “soaring swine.”)
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
race guilt
1. a race that never ends.
2. an assemblage of self-reproaches of various colors brought together to see which can complete a course in the speediest time and thereby be declared the winner.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
racist
one who races.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Rack
n. An argumentative implement formerly much used in persuading devotees of a false faith to embrace the living truth. As a call to the unconverted the rack never had any particular efficacy, and is now held in light popular esteem.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Radicalism
n. The conservatism of to-morrow injected into the affairs of to-day.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
radio
1. the highly standardized Styrofoam packaging for music which has been bought into the ranks of popularity by the artists’ management.
2. a broadcast forum based upon the supremacy of good music, allowing it is exactly 3 minutes and 20 seconds long; format.
see also radio disc jockey.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
radio disc jockey
1. a conservative freak; Republican politics dipped in nonsense and surrounded by hype; a walking gimmick.
2. a witless punk imitating David Letterman; an asshole.
3. traditionally, one with a strong voice who knows nothing about rock music.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Radium
n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.

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