OpenDevil » The Open Devil’s Dictionary

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The Devil’s Dictionary
Rash
adj. Insensible to the value of our advice.
  ”Now lay your bet with mine, nor let
      These gamblers take your cash.”
  “Nay, this child makes no bet.” “Great snakes!
      How can you be so rash?”
Bootle P. Gish
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
rather
a word used in Britain for quaintness, e.g., “rather pointless,” in college papers for contrast, and by children to express which fast food chain they prefer.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Rational
adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Rattlesnake
n. Our prostrate brother, Homo ventrambulans.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
rave
an open-air version of the early 1970s marketed to children.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Razor
n. An instrument used by the Caucasian to enhance his beauty, by the Mongolian to make a guy of himself, and by the Afro-American to affirm his worth.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
résumé
1. a targeted collection of lies.
2. an uncomfortable combing of one’s past for any events conveying: “I’m better than you deserve but have such low self-esteem that I’ll never bring it up during salary discussions.”
see also volunteer-work.
3. elaborate fabrications regarding one’s qualifications for sucking it up; a virtual make-over.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Reach
n. The radius of action of the human hand. The area within which it is possible (and customary) to gratify directly the propensity to provide.
  This is a truth, as old as the hills,
      That life and experience teach:
  The poor man suffers that keenest of ills,
      An impediment of his reach.
G.J.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
reach
just shy of the minimum distance one is safe to vocalize truth.

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