OpenDevil » PanDictionary2,361 terms |
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S
- Sabbath
- n. A weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God
made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh. Among the
Jews observance of the day was enforced by a Commandment of which this
is the Christian version: “Remember the seventh day to make thy
neighbor keep it wholly.” To the Creator it seemed fit and expedient
that the Sabbath should be the last day of the week, but the Early
Fathers of the Church held other views. So great is the sanctity of
the day that even where the Lord holds a doubtful and precarious
jurisdiction over those who go down to (and down into) the sea it is
reverently recognized, as is manifest in the following deep-water
version of the Fourth Commandment:
Six days shalt thou labor and do all thou art able,
Decks are no longer holystoned, but the cable still supplies the captain with opportunity to attest a pious respect for the divine ordinance.
And on the seventh holystone the deck and scrape the cable. - sacerdotal
- 1. relating to anal sex; sexy; heavily indoctrinated in anal sex.
- 2. relating to sex with children.
- Sacerdotalist
- n. One who holds the belief that a clergyman is a priest. Denial of this momentous doctrine is the hardest challenge that is now flung into the teeth of the Episcopalian church by the Neo-Dictionarians.
- Sacrament
- n. A solemn religious ceremony to which several degrees of authority and significance are attached. Rome has seven sacraments, but the Protestant churches, being less prosperous, feel that they can afford only two, and these of inferior sanctity. Some of the smaller sects have no sacraments at all — for which mean economy they will indubitable be damned.
- Sacred
- adj. Dedicated to some religious purpose; having a divine
character; inspiring solemn thoughts or emotions; as, the Dalai Lama
of Thibet; the Moogum of M’bwango; the temple of Apes in Ceylon; the
Cow in India; the Crocodile, the Cat and the Onion of ancient Egypt;
the Mufti of Moosh; the hair of the dog that bit Noah, etc.
All things are either sacred or profane.
Dumbo Omohundro
The former to ecclesiasts bring gain;
The latter to the devil appertain. - safe ride
- a concept developed by members of MADD and other anger management groups; it is based on the idea that the best possible place for a drunkard that can’t afford a cab is standing on some corner looking out for a fictional one.
more at drunk driver. - Safety-clutch
- n. A mechanical device acting automatically to prevent
the fall of an elevator, or cage, in case of an accident to the
hoisting apparatus.
Once I seen a human ruin
In an elevator-well,
And his members was bestrewin’
All the place where he had fell.And I says, apostrophisin’
That uncommon woful wreck:
”Your position’s so surprisin’
That I tremble for your neck!”Then that ruin, smilin’ sadly
And impressive, up and spoke:
”Well, I wouldn’t tremble badly,
For it’s been a fortnight broke.”Then, for further comprehension
Of his attitude, he begs
I will focus my attention
On his various arms and legs --How they all are contumacious;
Where they each, respective, lie;
How one trotter proves ungracious,
T’other one an alibi.These particulars is mentioned
For to show his dismal state,
Which I wasn’t first intentioned
To specifical relate.None is worser to be dreaded
That I ever have heard tell
Than the gent’s who there was spreaded
In that elevator-well.Now this tale is allegoric —
It is figurative all,
For the well is metaphoric
And the feller didn’t fall.I opine it isn’t moral
For a writer-man to cheat,
And despise to wear a laurel
As was gotten by deceit.For ’tis Politics intended
By the elevator, mind,
It will boost a person splendid
If his talent is the kind.Col. Bryan had the talent
(For the busted man is him)
And it shot him up right gallant
Till his head begun to swim.Then the rope it broke above him
And he painful come to earth
Where there’s nobody to love him
For his detrimented worth.Though he’s livin’ none would know him,
Porfer Poog
Or at leastwise not as such.
Moral of this woful poem:
Frequent oil your safety-clutch. - sage-monkey
- 1. member of a Southwestern community of people who live in tents among sagebrush plants.
- 2. someone living on the cutting edge of liberal thought regarding personal hygiene and social responsibility.
- 3. one whose diet of marijuana and psilocybin renders surprisingly few consequences, apart from unbrushable hair, bad teeth, a creeped-out perimeter of observers, and frequent trips to the slammer.
- Saint
- n. A dead sinner revised and edited. The Duchess of Orleans relates that the irreverent old calumniator, Marshal Villeroi, who in his youth had known St. Francis de Sales, said, on hearing him called saint: “I am delighted to hear that Monsieur de Sales is a saint. He was fond of saying indelicate things, and used to cheat at cards. In other respects he was a perfect gentleman, though a fool.”
