OpenDevil » PanDictionary2,361 terms |
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T3
- telecommute
- 1. to fall asleep on a bus or train and wake up at one’s dreaded stop-point.
- 2. what the word commute becomes to those fortunate enough to have reduced their workdays to making a few calls a day from home.
- 3. to feel as if one has traveled by way of a couple good hours of television or Internet surfing in the early evening; numbness; multi-media paralysis; video assisted assimilation slash brain death in a box.
- telemarketing
- what Americans generally understood “terrorism” to mean before the autumn of 2001.
- teleology
- the study of the lives of models and moviestars.
- Telephone
- n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
- Telescope
- n. A device having a relation to the eye similar to that of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us with a multitude of needless details. Luckily it is unprovided with a bell summoning us to the sacrifice.
- Teletubbies
- an abortive attempt to create mascots for the IUD industry—the characters, each wearing a different style of device on their heads, were repurposed for children’s television, that is television for the children they failed to prevent.
- television, American
- the new required reading, worldwide.
- temp-agency
- 1. a self-esteem vacuum; the business of offering employees a semi-flexible schedule in exchange for all of their rights and self-respect.
- 2. the opposite of Prozac, equivalent to a depression pill; see also bus-stop.
- 3. as of November, 1999, spoken in repetition, “temp-agency,” (or “temp-agencies”) is legally considered an indication of intent to commit suicide, and the passer-by shall be held responsible by law to dial 9-1-1 in such instances.
more at cop. - Ten Commandments
- a stone artifact of divine rules which over the years has needed so many amendments that it’s been replaced by an erasable plastic bond, with the current heading: Several Modest Suggestions.
