OpenDevil » PanDictionary2,349 terms |
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V
- vacation
- 1. reading the obituary page of one’s home town newspaper.
- 2. drinking without the restraint of an alarm clock or the safety net of a significant other.
- vacuum
- 1. the container holding popular American culture.
- 2. the container holding the cerebrum of Jessica Simpson.
- vagina
- what the metaphorical expression, “To dig a hole one cannot get out of,” refers to.
- vagina dentata
- the erroneous, ridiculous, and outrageous idea imagined out of thin air by Sigmund Freud that the vagina might have some sort of emasculating or otherwise castrative properties.
- vagitarian
- one who subsists primarily upon Crassostrea virginica or Crassostrea gigas barbatus.
- vain
- 1. describing a person possessing vanity; one who steals rather than begs.
- 2. pointless, futile; usually used “in vain;” see also, begging, stealing, non-alcoholic beer, decaffeinated coffee; love, romance, romantic; hope, happiness, marriage, stripper, government, US Constitution, beauty, belief, blame, cable, capitalism, cell phone, Christmas, civility, cleverness, comfort, Communism, conversation, kangaroo, karma, killing, war, wish, woman, man, hatred, question, philosophy, responsibility, salary, satisfaction, sex, shame, share, or most any other word in this or most any other dictionary.
- Valentine’s Day
- 1. a Springtime kick in the teeth, and a box of chocolates.
- 2. a pointless erection two weeks in the making, and a box of chocolates.
- 3. the hand hovering to jerk the needle from the vinyl in the great romance “musical chairs.”
- Valor
- n. A soldierly compound of vanity, duty and the gambler’s hope. “Why have you halted?” roared the commander of a division and Chickamauga, who had ordered a charge; “move forward, sir, at once.” “General,” said the commander of the delinquent brigade, “I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.”
- vampire
- 1. what becomes of the Goth who doesn’t look good in a swimsuit and hasn’t yet achieved satisfactory retribution regarding his or her parents.
- 2. a sadomasochist with one foot out of the closet door.
