OpenDevil » The Open Devil’s Dictionary

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The Devil’s Dictionary
Yesterday
n. The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age. But yesterday I should have thought me blest To stand high-pinnacled upon the peak Of middle life and look adown the bleak And unfamiliar foreslope to the West, Where solemn shadows all the land invest And stilly voices, half-remembered, speak Unfinished prophecy, and witch-fires freak The haunted twilight of the Dark of Rest. Yea, yesterday my soul was all aflame To stay the shadow on the dial’s face At manhood’s noonmark! Now, in God His name I chide aloud the little interspace Disparting me from Certitude, and fain Would know the dream and vision ne’er again. Baruch Arnegriff
  It is said that in his last illness the poet Arnegriff was
attended at different times by seven doctors.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
yoke
1. incentive stock options.
2. the welfare of the children.
3. your sponsor’s pager number.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Yoke
n. An implement, madam, to whose Latin name, jugum, we owe one of the most illuminating words in our language — a word that defines the matrimonial situation with precision, point and poignancy. A thousand apologies for withholding it.
The Devil’s Dictionary
Youth
n. The Period of Possibility, when Archimedes finds a fulcrum, Cassandra has a following and seven cities compete for the honor of endowing a living Homer.
      Youth is the true Saturnian Reign, the Golden Age on earth
  again, when figs are grown on thistles, and pigs betailed with
  whistles and, wearing silken bristles, live ever in clover, and
  cows fly over, delivering milk at every door, and Justice never
  is heard to snore, and every assassin is made a ghost and,
  howling, is cast into Baltimost!
Polydore Smith

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