OpenDevil » The Open Devil’s Dictionary

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2,350 terms

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OpenDevil » PanDictionary

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The Devil’s Dictionary X™
Norwegian
tundra bunny; fish boiler; fjord monkey; ax chucker; Viking boy.
more at Swede.
The Devil’s Dictionary 2.0
Metafilter
More nozzle than filter: a Web site that doesn’t reduce the information flow so much as shape it into a stinging, inconsumable torrent.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
nuclear bomb
the most destructive force created thus far by mankind, excepting journalism.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
NRA
a think tank which is employed for constitutional opinion by the Supreme Court.
The Devil’s Dictionary 2.0
schedule
A fairy tale with a happy ending, told by the optimistic to the ignorant.
“I see the schedule says we ship next week — good, good.”
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
Minnesota
1. a state famous for its unsavory timepieces.
2. birthplace of the MMPI—Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory—an exam used by corporations to bar employment from those with personal defects such as monophasic ethics.
The Open Devil’s Dictionary
Nobel Peace Prize
a prize many would, and often do, kill to possess.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
managing editor
one in which we observe the sublime nexus of manager and editor; see manager and editor.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
Quantum Physics
1. the theory that reality is actually the result of an aggregation of observations, or what people as a whole would truly like to be the case; soon after this theory was made public, it was theorized that a large quantity of people actually wanted traditional physicists to quit their jobs, or jump off of very tall buildings in protest.
2. a lot of mumbo-jumbo about how looking at something changes what happens, backed up by oodles of math with one or two strategically placed smudges.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™
never
the time span between resolution and desperation.