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Recent terms defined by the devil
- Godwin’s law
- an adage demonstrating that no one born after Jane Fonda flirted with a career as a DJ in 1972 is aware that Mao and Stalin ended 12 times more lives than Hitler.
- Jack Daniel’s
- a popular American whiskey from the state of Tennessee named for its original proprietor who—like so many vendors of extra-legal luxury commodities today—entered his trade at 13 years of age.
see also breakfast. - Kool-Aid®
- 1. a sweetened chemical solvent for lysergic acid diethylamide.
- 2. a sweetened chemical solvent for cyanide.
- 3. the direct object in the title of an impending Kraft Foodservice lawsuit threatening to remove this superb website from active service.
- 4. oh, yeah!
- latté
- espresso for girls.
see also, espresso. - Moore’s Law
- a computer science principle stating that every 18 months your need to purchase a new computer will double.
- Mother’s Day
- a state enforced holiday which demands a sense of sacred reverence for any woman who has borne a child; unfortunately the reverence is required even for those that birthed quivering 4lb crack-addicted premies—fortunately the reverence is not required the other 364 days of the year and can be had for the price of a Hallmark card accompanying last week’s stale roses.
more at mother; compare to Father’s Day. - naïve
- willing to believe anything; open minded.
- résumé
- 1. a targeted collection of lies.
- 2. an uncomfortable combing of one’s past for any events conveying: “I’m better than you deserve but have such low self-esteem that I’ll never bring it up during salary discussions.”
see also volunteer-work. - 3. elaborate fabrications regarding one’s qualifications for sucking it up; a virtual make-over.
- Valentine’s Day
- 1. a Springtime kick in the teeth, and a box of chocolates.
- 2. a pointless erection two weeks in the making, and a box of chocolates.
- 3. the hand hovering to jerk the needle from the vinyl in the great romance “musical chairs.”
- white man’s burden
- his brethren.
